I have lots of things to say that may or may not be really worth saying, but I’m in the process of completing a lot of thoughts. The Rotund‘s latest post on her internet handle reminded me that I had actually been wanting to do one of those so here’s mine.

When I comment, I go by PG because I’m a busty gal. And PG is a nod to Power Girl. A DC super hero whose powers are pretty much her huge breasts. Okay, so not really, but that’s what she’s known for. And while I’m not a fan of misogyny in comics, Power Girl is almost a parody of that. Sometimes, well, usually, she’s just the most blatant example, but sometimes the writers and artists turn her character into something pretty great. I don’t read as many comics as I’d like ’cause they’re pricey and I’m too lazy to hunt down scans. So Power Girl in my head is kind of the potential I could reach to embrace my curves. And sure, she’s usually really thin and that does not fit with my image, but there’s something about her. I was also thinking about being Gert, another (Marvel) comic character who has an interesting body. In the bit of Runaways (the comic she’s from) she had her own body issues and was kind of the “fat girl” and I could identify with her. She was even drawn rather “thick” for a while.* And then I was reading one of the comics and in the back they had pages for all the main characters with their basic stats and Gert came in at 5’1 and 125lbs. Which means she’s not even medically overweight. I mean, I know the line for fat is placed differently for different people, but to me, that was just a slap in the face. Like I was just told I was too fat to identify with the fat kid. Considering one of the entries I’m stewing on is one about being not fat enough to be considered fat by some of the more prominent FA bloggers, I feel like I really need to revisit this point.

The other name I wanted to explain was the name of this blog. I feel like it almost doesn’t need an explanation, but I’m going for it. Basically my mother has this theory that there are “fat” mirrors and “skinny” mirrors. I think physics supports this idea. Anyway, the point is, is that dressing room mirrors especially tend to have these properties, probably because they’re so cheap. And since this is a blog where I reflect on my weight. . . well, some days I feel like I’m standing in front of a fat mirror and some days I feel like I’m standing in front of a skinny mirror and if I just keep writing about it, maybe I’ll figure out what image I should actually be seeing.

Finally, I would like to say something about the comments on this blog. Word Press insists I actually get a few people reading this thing. And every time I get a comment, I’m shocked and pleased, but I don’t think I’m going to be doing a lot of replying. I originally came up with different identifiers and this blog so I could divorce my body acceptance from any familiar audience and any conscious or unconscious pandering I may do toward them. Or any information I might want to not share. So while I do read the (few) comments I get and I appreciate them, I don’t want to start catering my writing toward a new audience when I still am trying very hard to figure out what I have to say to myself.

*I wish I could provide some links and better facts, but my Google skills are seriously lacking right now.


June 12, 2010. Tags: , . Current.

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